The Sum of My Existence - 8

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You can also imagine me opening the following letter:


          TO: Quality Control Inspector #23

          FROM: The Chairman and Chief Executive Officer

          RE: Termination of Employment


I’ve been around, young man. I’ve traveled the oceans in steam-powered vessels, eaten unnamed foods, felled beasts weighing several      hundred pounds with a single four-ounce bullet. Yet, one thing remains a mystery to me: why a man of sound limb and some intelligence, however limited—why such a man would destroy the personal property of his beneficent employer? And in such an underhanded manner? Like a yellow-eyed jackal in the night. Son—and I do think of you as a son—I can only shake my head and pray that the skills you learned here at the plant will serve you in good stead in the state facility. Perhaps you can earn the odd cigarette now and again with whatever portion of your faculties has remained intact.


          With regret,

          T.O. Walker


P.S. The automobile was a gift from my third wife in commemoration of the Company’s 50th Anniversary. Had you committed your deed in daylight, you would have observed that the interior was upholstered in our Cleveland Brown fabric, all Walkerized, of course.