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The texts of our published titles are here for you to read, in their entirety. No lame limits. Really!

Monsoons (novel)

Monsoons  (novel)

Other Works

  1. Hybrid submission- Devil Got Me 2 years ago (Published)

Comments

"...but memories are like rivers and erosion will occur whether you want it to or not." I love that image. We all have that dam of pent up what if's and I wish I could forgets. You provide a poignant imagery that portrays the strength of the heart over the mind. Excellent writing.
John, Thank you so much. It's a good feeling, to hear praise like that. That sentence is getting edited, though...not because of you :) but because I had a problem with the word 'memories', that word just bothers me for some reason. Could be that damn Streisand song that was so big when I was a kid. LOVE that movie, though. Okay, focus, Jana......What I was trying to say before I wandered into another lane was that I'm still learning how to use language more succinctly. Thank you for taking the time to read all the chapters!
I liked how the narrator's stream of consciousness drew me in like a siren's song. The only issue I have with chap. one is the abrupt ending, which feels like the ending of a short story. But it also leaves me so intrigued I'm not sure it's really an issue. I can't wait to read the next chap.
Thank you, Samaria. I have reworked the second chapter which started off as a real dud . I'm hoping its more cohesive now and that you will come back and read it. Thanks so much for your feedback!
Hey - just read the first chapter and look forward to reading the rest. I like the way you use language to create a mood here, worked really well. Just one suggestion, as a reader I would love to be brought back to the plane the narrator is in at the end. Or perhaps even small moments of the narrator "in flight" as she remembers what happened before. I became disoriented in the memory and reread to try to find where the present action was.
Thanks for taking the time to read it, Zola. ( I love your name!) ummmm, I'm afraid it only gets more disorienting from here on. I like your advice, though and will try it out. I appreciate your input!
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I really enjoyed reading this - very emotionally intense - it almost stands on its own as a short story (but I do plan to read more). For some reason, I was confused about the narrator's gender until about half way through the piece. Even though there's a reference to "bigger breasts than mine," I feel like maybe you could add a couple of more obvious clues for obtuse readers like me - I was actually picturing the narrator as male, then I had to switch, which was jarring for me - but maybe that is intentional? Anyway, this is great.
Thanks Mikita, Im interested in seeing what you think about where I take it in the next 2 chapters. Its very stream of consciousness that will go back and forth between present and past ( all over the place, really )...It's challenging. I'm not sure it will work, but I would like very much to try. Please let me know your thoughts! Also, I'm intending to check out 13 girls, I saw you re posted it and would like to get to..(hopefully tonight)
Really great work, Jana. Particularly love the line "veins like blue filaments." It's so hard for me to find new ways to describe someone, and this conveys electricity in such a subtle way.

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