“Just lay back and relax.”

 

“Like this? Or should I turn this way, on my side?”

 

“Ummmm, well no. Try putting your leg up. Yes, like that, toes out, just let it rest on the top of the couch.”

 

“I don't think I can hold my toes out for very long. Is there some other position that I can put my foot in that will work?”

 

“This will just be for the sketch, so it shouldn't take very long.”

 

“Okay, I think that I can hold it there for a few minutes. Are you sure your room mate won't be back soon?”

 

“Positive, he's getting together with some girl he met in some psych class that he is taking. Evidently he has a thing for asian women, a fetish.”

 

“Okay, as long as he doesn't walk in while we are doing this, I'm cool with it. The band is getting together at nine to go over some new lyrics, so I definitely have to be out of here within an a couple of hours. Do you want to hear the it?”

 

“Can you turn your head slightly. Don't look at me, try looking at the cactus over there.” Pause, with a slight stare from the crown of her head down to her toes. “Perfect. Now don't move.”

 

“They really are very good, some of the best that we've done. Nothing like the first album, more like Mother's Breath, or no, actually like Dead Ponies. Did you hear their most recent record, the purple one with red blotches on it? Pretty amazing sound. I love the line from the third song, right near the end, 'It only feels good if not sure how it will all end, yessss baby, yessss baby, whisper his name.' God damn great lyrics!”

 

“Chandy, please don't move. That is a great line. Can you move your arm just a little. No, try this, just allow it to drop to the floor. Perfect, that looks great.”

 

“Do you want to hear what Tom came up with? Said he heard the line in some club the other night, I think it was at the Milky Brown Eggs show. Great band, shitty singer. In fact she's an absolute slut. She is sleeping with some record exec, trying to get a deal with a label I guess. Tom said that some guy showed up at the show looking like he had just come from the tee's, hadn't even bothered to change anything but his shoes. She is such a slut, especially since her ex boyfriend is the lead guitarist for their band. Imagine how that feels.”

 

“Sucks to be him. Or should I say evidently sucks is no longer what he is getting.” Smiling.

 

“Do you have to do that, twisting everything into some sort of sex act? It's got to be pretty terrible to be playing to an audience with your ex's new man in the front row sucking down vodka and tonics watching every move that she is doing. And to know that if they did get a contract he was going to be dumped before he even had a chance to sign his name on it. Double dumped.”

 

“Chandy please settle down. You're moving all over the place. I promise to not twist your words again, as long as you stay still. Deal?”

 

“Okay, deal. Do you want to hear the lyrics though that Tom came up with?”

 

“Sure, as long as you don't move while your singing them to me.”

 

“You said you loved me, now you're gone. You said you loved me, yet it's been too long. You said you wanted a life together, sand between our toes as we got old. Sweat stained sheets on our bed, the dream of you in my head. Yet now you're gone. It's been too long, the sand is gone, the sheets are dry. Now you're gone!”

 

“I like it a lot. I especially like it the way you are singing it. Tom really came up with that, or did he just rip it off from somebody else?”

 

“No, Tom would never do that! What do you have against Tom? He's the best guitarist that we've ever had. He can play circles around the majority of people out there.”

 

“I've got nothing against Tom, great guy. But you know he has eyes for you right? I doubt you would even notice. But try being in the audience, and yep, its pretty damn obvious. Whose he chasing these days, that chick from Choke or is it the drummer from Vanity Hole? You know he doesn't have a chance with either. Not a chance in hell.”

 

“What are you talking about. Really, you know nothing about him, the shit that he has had to put up with, the bullshit. And no, we are just friends. What are you jealous? I love it, my Buck, jealous of our lead guitarist!”

 

“Your Bucky sees a hell of a lot, and no, why would I be jealous of him. He has nothing, is from nothing, and will probably when your band ends, will go back to being that, nothing.”

 

“Who said the band was going to break up? We are doing great. In fact we talked with a guy from Blender records the other day, and he wants us to do two albums with them. Why would we break up.”

 

“When did this happen, you never mentioned anything about Blender? When was the big announcement supposed to be? “

 

“I was planning on telling you about it after our next show, but I guess there it is. Please don't tell anyone else. It was supposed to be a surprise. You seem to think we don't have much of a future though.”

 

“Now I didn't say any such thing. I just can't imagine your parents going for your becoming a rock goddess. You have to admit, a bit wild for their tastes.”

 

“Who gives a rats ass what they think. Yeah, like I'm just going to join the family business and spend my nights loaded on cocktails, being bored out of my head with stupid gossip. Yeah, you've got me pegged there, that's exactly what I want, to be exactly like them. You have no idea who I am, do you.”

 

“Now wait one god damn minute. You know, just as well as I do, that their just letting you have your fun. And the moment the music stops playing, what do you expect? That they will just say, 'Go ahead, have a great time figuring out where your next gig is coming from'. Nope, not a chance.”

“You've met my parents all of four times, and for two of those times you were stoned out of your mind. So sure, you can tell me all about them, inside and out. Do you really have that little faith in my doing anything remotely great with my life?”

 

“Chandy, come on. I'm not attacking your parents, and I'm not saying the band will fail. I'm just saying that if, and that is a pretty big 'if', things don't work out with the band, or for some reason the record deal falls apart, that they are going to expect certain things from you. It's obvious.”

 

“So, you can paint and create all the art in the world, safe from a stage of people, an audience that expects everything from you. And maybe you'll do well, or you won't. But I'm not putting that on you, saying that 'you had best make other plans, because well your parents will be expecting you to be more!' am I? Nah, I don't go to failure that quickly. Why do you?”

 

“Please, I need you to stay still. I'm not going into failure mode, or telling people to sell out their dreams and get on with it. You know me better than that, I'm just being a realist about all of this.”

 

“A realist! You're kidding right?”

 

“Yes, a realist. To see things as they are, not as we wish them to be. That's me, Buck Realist. I should make business cards with that on it.”

 

“Oh, that's good, I love it. Anything else I should know? Evidently Tom is in love with me, the band is going to fail, and I'm going to be pressed into servitude in the family business. Booze and kids! Now that's the life. Any other tidbits of insight while I lay here and model for you?”

 

“Nope, I've got nothing else. And I didn't come up with it, you did. All I did was point out a few obvious facts. There's no reason to get pissed at me.”

 

“I'm not pissed at you. I just don't understand why you go to the worst case of possibilities. Can't there be room for hope. When I look at your work, that's all I feel. I never tell you worst case.”

 

“What is that?”

 

“What's what?”

“That. (pointing)”

 

“It's a freckle. A little large freckle. I've had it pretty much my entire life. Why?”

 

“Oh, nothing. I never noticed it before.”

 

“You're joking right? We've been together for a year, and only now you notice it.”

 

“I guess I just missed it. No big deal.”

 

“Only now you noticed it? Amazing, I thought you saw everything.”

 

“Chandy, please, not now. I think we are going to have to change the pose. It's just not working. Let's try having you turn on your side.”

 

“Why? What's wrong?”

 

“Nothing, it's just I think a different perspective would work better. Turn on your side, kind of with your right shoulder pitched forward. Yes, just like that. A little more. Good.”

 

“Better? And my leg, is that to supposed to be twisted up into the air like it is now? I think I can hold this position for all of a minute more.”

 

“No, you can put it down, but extend it straight out onto the arm of the couch. Exactly like that. Good.”

 

“God this must look weird! You really want me to stay like this?”

 

“Yep. Let's try this again. So you've really had it all your life?”

 

“What? You mean the freckle?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Pretty much. Why?”

“Have you ever considered having it removed?”

 

“Why? I've just always had it. It's not a big deal. You know that I have freckles, sure not as big as that one is, but I've got lots.”

 

“Sure you have freckles, love'em. But you kind of have to admit that that one is a bit ugly. Kind of distracting. Blemishing really.”

 

“So let me get this straight, because I have this one larger freckle, I am blemished, ugly. Is that what you are telling me?”

 

“Well, yes and no.”

 

“Wait! Yes?”

 

“Well it detracts from you, how beautiful you really are. I'm a little surprised I hadn't noticed it before.”

 

“Ah, so unless I lose the freckle I am eternally damned to be ugly in your eyes? That's what you're telling me right?”

 

“No, that's not what I'm telling you. I'm just saying that it is distracting. That's all.”

 

“Now I get it. So I'm laying here naked, in broad daylight, posing for your school work, and everything is going fantastic until you discover that there is a part of me that you've never noticed before. That's why I'm now twisted about like a pretzel, so that one thing that you just noticed, and evidently consider to be ugly is hidden from your view. About right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Anything else I should have changed? Perhaps the hair color should go? Your preference? Will blond do, or maybe purple or pink. Your choice Buck.”

 

“Listen to me. Actually forget it Chandy, I just can't do this now. Let's try this some other time. Obviously I can't win today.”

“Who said anything about winning anything. I asked you a question. What else do you think I should change about myself?”

 

“Absolutely nothing. Change nothing. You're perfect the way you are. You can stop posing now.”

 

“So that's my answer, no answer.”

 

“No, we will do this again in a few days, when we both have time. Remember, you have the band to get to.”

 

“Right, right.”