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Hey Mikita, I read the first 3 girls and uhhhh, I cant read anymore.
Theyre really good, very vivid with amazing detail and strong voices and characters; They're just too intense for me right now. And it's not that their too dark, because I like dark stuff......you just did a great job at hitting nerves. Even though theyre written in the true crime vibe, they feel very emotional to me.(especially Lisa) Im also very close to this subject, A close friend of mine was murdered when we were teenagers and I don't think I've fully processed it....I don't know if something like that can ever be processed. Anyway, its part of what Im writing about in Monsoons.
I think these stories are great, I would be into reading them if they didnt make me so uneasy. And I dont think thats an insult, it's a compliment to your writing. I remember when the Lovely Bones came out I HAD to read it because everyone talked about how great it was and I knew the girl in it got killed so I thought it would be a good, therapeutic read. Well. I thought it was just a ridiculous book- I absolutely hated that the dead girl was watching from some sort of heaven, it felt so fake to me. That book didnt keep me up at night, it didnt make me cringe (other than at the some of it's smarmy writing) and it didnt hurt my chest. When I got to the end of your first story Lisa', my chest hurt. I think if I read all of them in a row, my nerves would be shot.
Thanks! I mean, I'm sorry it made you feel uneasy, but this is really just the kind of response I was hoping for - though maybe not so intense. But I did want to write something that would keep people up at night. And you're not alone - a few people have been unable to finish it, mainly people who have been impacted in some way by a similar loss. Looking forward to reading more of Monsoons.
It's really nice work, Mikita. I love how you use these offbeat, sidelong details to draw us in. The ponytail and gym sneakers of the alcoholic nurse, the thin white mustache on the stray kitten.
The manuscript is completed, and I will add more chapters if anyone is interested in reading them, but I wanted to start with just two, as the manuscript is still in the hands of one or two publishers. My agent has sent it to ten or more different places, and has proved pretty much impossible to place because it is (1) considered "too dark", and (2) does not fit a particular "genre" (it's a cross between true crime & short fiction).
Feedback would be welcome.
I don't feel like they are too dark, since the crimes mostly occur offstage and the stories are more gritty-psychological than grisly. The pieces are highly readable and deliver that true crime feel in that I couldn't stop reading them once I started. The pieces you posted seem complete and nicely rendered, and [SPOILER ALERT] I was always intrigued by the idea that the victims could have been killed by someone they knew while it turns out to be random. To me, that's where the mystery lies in these. I can see how the stories are designed to end with that revelation, but in each case, I wanted to read more about what happens next, which is a compliment.
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