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Ry,
I truly enjoyed reading this piece. From your use of dialogue to the pace of the entire story you kept me wanting to read more. Let me not forget the vivid description throughout. The anticipation, at first, grew with wanting to know what the father had done and how Jesse was going to react when picking him up. The first moments of their introduction felt so true to reality, even though Jesse had all of these built up feelings in him and had all the right to feel the way he was feeling the tender and awkward moment shared between these two men was pleasantly received. This man was still his father, and the subtext of that entire passage let that ring through. Upon the entering the bar and the exchange had between father and son was gut wrenching. As I reader I felt it coming, how long could Jesse sit there and not say what needed to be said? Once again, great work.
Ry, congratulations on a very powerful story. I especially liked how the details are revealed only when needed or at the last minute. And how through the son's pain his love for his father suddenly explodes. i especially appreciate the depth of time you hint at before there was time, when we were barely human.
Hey, thanks a lot for your comments, Tim! They're much appreciated, especially at this moment. I'm getting my writing sample ready for MFA applications!
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