User login

Red Lemonade takes a different approach to publishing. Want proof, you say?
The texts of our published titles are here for you to read, in their entirety. No lame limits. Really!

Wolfus

Wolfus
In which the mother of two children raised by wolves must confront her inner rumpus.

Other Works

  1. The Benefit 1 year ago (Published)
  2. Falling Down [Short Fiction] 1 year ago (Published)

Table of Contents

Comments

The prose style and language are very appealing. I really enjoyed reading the first third. The idea of a mother adopting feral children is great and you play it out beautifully in the opening. the wolfish kids are fertile ground to work with and the crossover into little red riding hood is nice. The russian-ness of the grandmother seems random, though. If it is a reference to a fairytale, it feels forced. in any case, it does not add anything from what i can see. the story loses me around the introduction of the Mr. Tod story--WAY too much going on for a piece of this length. it forces the narrative to contort around plot devices and backstory in a way that detracts from the potential of asking some deep questions about motherhood. If the mother is going to become feral/wild/wolfish herself, I think you should orchestrate with the ingredients at hand, rather than bringing in a past of wolfy crossing dressing/Mr. Tod (interesting in its own right--but too much for this one short story to hold). Also the crack den backstory feels random and unnecessary. If the wolf-mother must appear later on, it is enough to know she exists. I'd rather she lived in a wolfy place like the woods and travelled in a wolfy way (not by car)--otherwise the kids' feralness makes a lot less sense. I'm excited to read more of this if it continues to expand!
Funnily enough, I almost posted another (later) draft in which Mr. Tod is reduced to one line and Grandmother's second scene is cut. You've given me much to think about, and I appreciate the close read. Thank you!
Thank you for the tip. I put it up there yesterday but I'll check and make sure it took. S.
Hi - If you paste this link into the Hybrideastiary thread, more people will see the story.

Add comment

Login or register to post comments